Anatomy of a Walk

This morning my workout slot was taken up by helping my son get his passport.  Instead of driving all the way to the gym, I decided to just walk the neighborhood. I grossly underestimated my route.  What was supposed to be around two miles of sidewalk nods to neighbors and small hills turned into nearly four miles of, "What were you thinking?!"  Oh, and the outside temp that was overcast in the low 70's when I left, was 84 and full sun before I got home.  My internal dialog went something like this:

“I’m so smart, walking outside, saving gas.”

“Walking outside is good for me. I get lazy on the treadmill. Out here I have to do the hills.”
“My legs feel kind of fatigued.  I’m surprised they’re still recovering from Monday’s strength training.”

“Look at that yard.  I wish I could grow anything.”

“Maybe I won’t do a long walk today, I’ll turn around soon and go back.”

“That house needs shutters. Naked windows look smaller.”

“I could can turn around here. No, I’m better than this, I’ll keep going.”

“I’m going to stop at the end of this street. Oh look, that house is for sale again.”

“I think this street connects to the one at the back of the neighborhood.  If I turn here, I’ll just make a loop.  I can do that.”

“Oh. The sun came out.”

“I didn’t wear sunscreen.”

“Huh, this isn’t where I thought this road went.” (Pulls up GPS app.)

“Ok, I could just go back now, or I could still make the loop, it will just be a little longer loop. I am awesome and I’m going to do the longer loop. In for an ounce, in for a pound…”

“It’s really hot out here.  Does no one plant trees anymore?  Where’s the shade?!”

“I’m pretty sure I’m going to die out here.  I wonder if I could flag down a FedEx driver to take me home.”

“I wonder if I could dive into the back of that pick-up while it’s moving? What’s the speed limit on this road?”

“Where is my turn?” (Pulls up GPS again) “My hips and back are starting to complain.”

“OK, I can do this. It’s time to break out the ‘Annoyingly Chipper’ playlist or become statuary on this guy’s lawn.  He can mow around me.”

“Oh! I just remembered I have a chicken rice bowl already prepped for the moment when I walk in the door. And cold Pellegrino! I even have a fresh lime!  I would amputate a finger for carbonation right now.”

“Is that a hill?  I don’t remember a hill there. What fresh hell is this?!”

“This is a great playlist.  Maybe if I dance while I walk I can pretend I’m not dying.”

“Do I care if the neighbors see me dancing?  No, I don’t think I do.”

“Aw, I made that old guy smile.  People should dance more.”

“I could just sit down on this curb and take a nap.”

“There’s that stupid FedEx driver again.  Why didn’t he see my distress and offer me a ride?  Didn’t he see me dancing?  Public dancing is a sure sign of distress.  Jerk.”

“There!  Home!  That’s my house!  I live there!”

“I am amazing.”

The Big Picture

According to The American Council on Exercise, a safe rate of fat loss is 1% per month.  Anytime you lose weight on the scale, it's a combination of fat, muscle, and water.  Over the last four weeks I've lost .8% which puts me right on track. I've lost 1.3% in the last eight weeks. I think now that I've added weight training, the percentage will step up a little bit over the coming month. 

Recommended weightloss is 1-2 pounds a week for sustainability and to avoid the yo-yo bounce-back effect.  My average has been 1.8 pounds per week. Both of these statistics are reassurance that what I'm doing is healthy, and more importantly, it's working.  With the daily ups and downs, it's good to step back and look at the big picture.  I'm doing okay and need to keep doing what I've been doing.

Pools and Mermaids

When you get old enough, you become removed from many childhood memories that you were sure could never be forgotten.  I exercised in the pool today as it's my day off from the weights.  I love being weightless.  I like the that water pressure pushes water out of the tissues if you're retaining fluid. I like that movement in the water provides a mild massage to the lymph system just under the skin. When I finished my fifty minutes of walking, jumping, and swimming, I stretched in the steam room, I let the jets beat on me in the spa tub, and then I went in the dry sauna hoping to dry off a bit before getting back in the car. As I laid down on the bench, for an instant, I was whisked back in time. I was eight, it was high summer and the goal was to spend the entire day in the pool.   When forced to get out we'd lay down on the hot pavement around the pool.  The heat would immediately seep all the way through muscles we didn't know were tired.  When we pushed up, the water from our wet bodies would leave prints that looked like a mermaid.  Sometimes we would get wet again to see what other shapes we could make with our bodies on the hot concrete.  When I got up to leave, I looked back at the bench to see if a mermaid had been there.

FINALLY!

199.8

I realize it's going to fluctuate.  I realize that it's a moment in time.  I realize I'm going to go eat breakfast and it's going to be above 200 again, but it's also a trend.  It's a result of hard work.  It's an indication of what's possible. It's a reason to go to the gym again today when I'm sore and don't want to. I can do this.

Up or Down

*heavy sigh* Scale was up this morning after being down all week. I was this close to being under 200.  I thought today was the day.  I've been giving myself all the mental pep talks I give to other people about weight fluctuations after starting strength training--especially when you know you haven't gone over your calorie budget, let alone consumed an extra 3500 calories. Those become mental exercises when the emotion of change creeps up.  As I look at my "official" weight from last week, I am actually down a tiny bit.  That does alleviate some of disappointment. 199 is just so close I can taste it.  Furthermore, I need to know this is working and will keep working. It's too much effort for it to not mean anything.

I have a lot on my plate today.  Lots of legitimate reasons to not get to the gym, but I have to make it happen.  I'm going to get dressed in my gym clothes and run around town that way until I make it to the gym. Promise.

UPDATE:  I did make it to the gym, but not until after 3:30.  Never again.  I was competing with fifteen year old posers for the free weights.  I can already tell I'm going to be sore.  I finally showered for the day at 5:30 pm.  Chicken taco for dinner.

Hello Gym

Well, I'm back in the gym.  It had to happen sometime.  I drive farther to go to a less used, but still well equipped gym. I also go late morning so I avoid the overly energetic super mommies and the early morning grumpsters.  This week my goal is to do the machine circuit of weights, working the full body, and making my muscles remember this kind of work M,W, F.  Minimal cardio and movement of some other kinds on the other three days. Yesterday it was the indoor pool--which wasn't as terrible as I was afraid it would be.  Not sure what tomorrow is yet, maybe the heavy bag.  I have to set up for an event in my usual exercise slot so we'll see.  Unfortunately I have a big blister on my heel that's trying to heal so no repetitive walking for a while.  Next week I'll start on a legit strength program working different body parts and different days and nothing long.  Three sets of ten for each exercise, three exercises per body part. Short cardio.  Go home and shower. If that all takes me longer than an hour, I'm doing something wrong.  Still working my food choices.  Weightloss happens in the kitchen, fitness happens in the gym.

Thanks Mom!

I had a convo with my mother, who’s a nurse, yesterday—whining about a minor gain despite doing everything the same. Medically and personally, she knows pretty much everything about weightloss and weight gain.  She reminded me of something I had forgotten about. When you burn fat, where does it go? It helps give the body energy for metabolic activities, generates heat, which helps maintain your body temperature, and waste products. These waste products — water and carbon dioxide — are excreted in your urine and sweat or exhaled from your lungs. The portion of the fat leaving your body in fluid form is fluid in your tissues first. Fluid weighs more than stored fat cells. A minor gain can be an indication that you are, in fact, losing. This often happens in stalls followed by a bigger loss. Fat loss is not a steady decline, it’s the up and down of normal metabolic processing. It made feel better about the small gain I had experienced despite doing everything the same.  Sure enough, I dropped farther this morning. Down to a total of 11.7 pounds in six weeks so far.  That's still a stunning average of nearly two pounds a week.  Thanks Mom!

Patience

I've been right on track this week, but it's looking like I'll only have a one pound loss to show for it.  That's a totally acceptable, healthy number, it's just lower than the last five weeks and I'm anxious to get out of the 200's.  It's a weird thing to think about that you can do everything right, everything the same, and still get a different result.  Once again, it's "not simple math."  Learning the different facets of patience seems to be a life journey for me.  I've had blessings and answers to prayers that have said as much, I don't know why I'm surprised every time it comes up as a challenge.  Assuming I have the ability to keep doing what I'm doing, losing the weight then becomes a waiting game.  If I lose an average of a pound a week (some weeks more, some less) then I have to wait for a year to go by to lose 52 pounds.  While that knowledge lives somewhere in the back of my mind, I can't wrap my head around a year.  I have to figure out what's for dinner.

Small Triumphs

Yesterday I turned 53 and my mother was moved into a skilled nursing facility.  Turns out she broke her knee when she fell. Movement is unbearable.  She needs to eat to regain her strength, but she doesn't want to because that means she'll have to go to the bathroom and that means movement--movement accompanied by a dozen teenage helpers to accommodate her size. She feels embarrassed and fatigued.  Right now she's working with physical therapy to be able to move back to her retirement village when the break heals. I've never seen this terminally optimistic woman so disheartened.

In the past, holidays and tradition were my favorite excuses to indulge.  Certainly a birthday combined with stress over my mother's condition were good excuses, if ever there were any, to eat with abandon. A different outcome, however, requires a different choice.

I started the morning making my own on-program breakfast of eggs and fruit. I needed the shot of protein, but to keep the calories down since I expected to eat out.  After breakfast I talked my husband into going for a long walk with me.  That was good for both of us and made the time go by faster. After a shower, my daughter took me to lunch at a pub.  I picked it because I knew they had good salads, but I underestimated how difficult it would be to see and smell my daughter eat handmade stone baked pizzas and chicken wings.  I ate one chicken wing and it was SO good.  It was hard not to put my face in the plate and eat the rest.  Thankfully, my salmon and mango salad came quickly.  It was beautiful and delicious. After I got some protein in, I was less hungry and better able to ignore the pizza and wings.

Dinner was more of the same.  I splurged on a small steak, roasted asparagus, and a salad. We didn't order dessert.  Instead my husband had picked up chocolate cupcakes from a favorite bakery down the street.  I looked forward to that indulgence all day.  The icing was as good as remembered, but the cake was dry.  That was disappointing for something so anticipated.  Looking back, I enjoyed the chicken wing more than the cupcake.  (I will deny that if you bring it up in public.) I went to bed proud that I had made good choices.

I expected my weight to be up this morning. It was down.  Color me shocked.  I re-weighed myself three times to make sure the scale really meant it.  I hope it's still down tomorrow when I have to record it. It meant I could squeeze (it was snug but at least it zipped!) into a skirt for church that I couldn't wear a month ago, ten pounds ago.

Today as I watch television commercials for fast food, I'm amazed at how unappealing they are.  None of them had the appeal of the food at lunch with my daughter when it was placed in front of me. I believe there has been a small shift in my thinking which makes the television commercials less tempting. I hope it's a shift that sticks around.