Because She Can't and I Still Can

One of the complications that goes with lympadema is cellulitis.  Lack of movement, poor circulation--all ideal conditions for infection.  Last night my mother was admitted to the hospital for sepsis.  She's on IV antibiotics and they are doing cultures in search of the cause.  Because of her size, they have to get a special bed brought in, and everything takes on a life and death component. When you don't have good circulation, you don't have healing. Her size becomes its own symptom.  This is a family legacy I'm trying to avoid so this morning I walked and walked.

We have a hill at the front of our neighborhood and I was determined to climb it and reach the end of that street before turning around to come home.  It was blissfully cool when I stepped outside, it even began to drizzle about forty minutes into my walk.  It felt good.  I just stopped and put my face up to the sky and prayed for my mother.  Then because she can't, I kept walking.  I smelled freshly cut grass, pine trees which reminded me of California, wet pavement, and flowers hanging on to the end of summer.  I walked a full hour before I got home. It felt good.