A picture says a thousand words, doesn't it? That was me, well my butt anyway, last summer during the family reunion at the beach. Some days I look at my body in the mirror and it's not mine. It's a fat suit that I keep expecting to just unzip and pull off. So I fell off the wagon without really ever gaining any ground.
I remember looking at my brothers on that trip and thinking how much I loved them and wanted them to lose weight. They have fulltime jobs and heavy responsibilities at home and church. They don't have time to exercise. They don't often control their own diet. I don't have those same excuses yet here I sit the same weight I was in that picture all those months ago. That "knowing better" thing is pinging around in my head again. Apparently it's never loud enough or long enough to get the fat suit off.
When I feel defeated like this, it's hard to want to make good choices - to believe that anything will be different if I do. Hmmm...I think that last thought was signficant.
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